An Excerpt from Limited Words vs. Boundless Friendship
By Yu Guangzhong
Replying a letter does make me flinch; hoever, unreplied letters allo me no release at all. Dozens of unreplied letters pile up on my bookshelf, like a sum of debt aiting to be paid. Some have been aiting there for over one year, hile some have nely arrived. The pressure from paying off that debt is far beyond hat a junior debtor can endure. The stack of unreplied letters are, like a group of haunting ghosts, continually pestering my guilt-loaded soul. Conventionally, the letters ill certainly be replied. I can even sear by heaven that never do I have the intention not to reply hen my mind is clear. The problem is ho to reply. Even if I spared myself a hole summer night, I ould be avering on hich letter to reply first, the 18-month-old one or the 7-month-old? The reply has been delayed for so long that I'm afraid even a heartfelt apology has already lost its poer. In friends' heart, I've been marginalized as a cocky man unorthy of care. "Unaccountable"! That is their unanimous ment on me。
In fact, even though I pull myself together and settle don at the desk, ready to pay off the debt, my determination ill easily be split up by doubts. Old and ne letters, replied or yet-to-be, cram the shelf and the draer in disorder, hich reminds me of to verses: "He's simply in the very mountain. In the depths of clouds, his hereabouts are unknon." (from Calling on a Hermit in Vain by Jia Dao). Picking out the letter I decide to reply from such a mess ill cost multiplied time and energy as replying the letter does. Moreover, on visualizing the facial expression of friends hen they receive the reply — reburned lingering anger rather than surprised delight — my tiny amount of determination dindle into naught. Consequently, the date hen my debt is paid off extends into eternity. Although I haven't replied the letters, I can never fet my friends, any more than a debtor can fet his creditor. In the depth of my disturbed and apologetic heart looms the indelible angry and icy look of my friends. Never can I fet them. Friends ho really fall into oblivion, from hich guilt is totally absent, are those ho have received my reply。
